The power of the word “rape” and why you need less description in your writing.

Let the reader get there for themselves. When I write, I enter a state of flow. I am hyper-focused, and I become a different person —the version of me who sees every single detail of my story as if it were happening in real time. I swear I’m not saying this to brag, but it is something I like about myself. One thing I dislike is how descriptive I can be. I will read something I wrote and go, “ugh, it’s like the author thinks I’m stupid.” Every detail is mapped out along with every character’s possible thoughts and the color, smell, sound, and taste of everything in the room. It is something I struggle with while writing. As professionals, we know to let the reader discover certain things for themselves. Show, don’t tell can only go so far, though.

Words have power. I was sitting in a foreign bar in Cheonan, South Korea, having a decent time chatting with Korean men who came there looking for foreign women. I, a foreign woman, sat in the middle as everyone chatted me up. A guy kept asking for details on where I lived. I was visibly uncomfortable after I told him, and he continued to pry. Then someone said, “He’s not going to rape you.” And they all laughed. 

Another man I dated thought it was sexy to threaten me with rape right before we were getting started. I reprimanded him, and he seemed to understand why I didn’t like it. Not long after, he did it again and became annoyed with me when I mentioned it. 

I hate the sound of the word “rape.” It means very little to people who have not lived their entire existence in deep fear of it happening to them. 

The things you describe might be triggering. While editing Everybody in Town Knows and The Unlikely Histories of Colored Boys, I felt uncomfortable with my rape scenes. No, I did not use the word “rape” very much or at all, but the vivid and disturbing description made me deeply uncomfortable. My first thought was, “This is a piece of literary genius! I can move people.” Then I thought of all the assault and rape scenes I witnessed on TV growing up in the early 2000s, and suddenly felt that my descriptions were cheap. Worse than that, they were triggering, even to the person who wrote them. They demanded thoughts, feelings, and images from my life. Considering the population I serve, queer people of color and anyone interested, I couldn’t have that. I removed the scenes, but I may post unedited versions of the books on my website.

Finally, take care of your readers.